in matters of the heart

where does love live?
does it live alone?
silently

contentedly

assured of its value
in some dusty corner

of our hearts
what does love fear?

truth?

rejection?

why does it leave us?

when we need it the most?

we dream of it

we hope for it

we pray for it

but in my truth

within my story

we have always lived apart

and in matters of the heart

I remain poor

fading fast

my time was yesterday
yours is today and tomorrow
I belong with the graveside mourners
you belong with the dreamers and shakers
I am no longer my father's hope
or my mother's fear
for I am parentless
the last of my line
a man seeking an honourable end
but what I give to you
what I press willingly into you hands
are the remaining embers of my life
and the last ounce of my love

still sorry

sometimes I don't think
sometimes I don't see
sometimes I punch through hearts
only to remember
that some souls are paper thin
and that words
my sharp words
can cause tears
and pile upon those delicate shoulders
an unbearable weight
sometimes I don't think
sometimes I don't see
is it any wonder that it is only regret
that embraces me?

an interesting question

 How do immortals measure time?

.. by the tombstones of mortals loved.

(this was a question I once saw on Twitter.... I mulled over my reply for days)

pieces of a life

my life
the two piece puzzle
which doesn't want to dovetail
or conform to my will

it just rattles in a box
with an image on its lid
which doesn't match
the two shapes within

but everyday I try
to make the angles and curves join
to complete a symmetry
which isn't supposed to make sense

mirrors of you

there is a weight to time
which accumulates with the years
and as it does
it scratches memories of you
into every mirror in this house
you are in my reflection
ghostlike
but cruelly real to me

ageless and stained with a contrition
that like a scar in my slowing heart
refuses to be healed

there are days I wish I was blind
but more when I willingly surround myself
with unbearable pain
to relive that one solitary point in time

such is love
such is life
such is this man

echo

I look at you
and I hear an echo
of something once wanted
it pulls me back to
a younger heart
and a smile
that once was mine

heads and hearts

"We need to talk as I thought we'd agreed. Don't beat. Stay dead."

"But she was bold and smart!" said the heart.

"I know." replied the mind.

"And when you finally saw her smile?"

"I know."

"But you've opened the door?"

"Me?"

"Yes, I'm free now."

"I can see that."

"And she did rock that sexy school teacher look!"

"I'll give you that one."

"But..."
"But what?"

"This is going to hurt like hell." said the mind.

"I know."

"We said we'd never do this again."

"I know."
"So, what's the plan?" said the heart.

"I'll follow you." said the mind.

nearly but not quite

she was the wish that missed the star
and the penny that bounced off the lip of the well
she was the prayer lost in a sneeze
and the love potion missing a newt
she was the ship that passed on a different ocean
and a dream shattered by a late night call
but her thunder still lives within you
and her lighting still fires your heart
she was your ever so nearly
but now always your just not quite

I exist for now

I look back upon my road
there are no signs
or yellow bricks
just faded lines
and sun bleached bones
I take this moment from
the momentum of my steps
to reminisce about love
and choices
to see behind closed eyes
the life I never knew
my head drops
I turn
my heavy footsteps restart
towards my journey's end