what lies ahead

if I could map my heart
I would navigate around the pain
that you have yet to give me
I would plot a course between your first smile
and your final goodbye
I would raise sail and blind my eyes
from the man who replaces me
and I would steer towards
the darkest storm
and the sharpest rocks
oblivious
of what awaits

in dublin

if I had not returned
not remembered a promise
not walked back
not turned right

not turned left

if I waited one moment less
or one moment more

I would not have seen

your smile
I would have not heard
your voice
I would not have learnt
your name

and my life would have been
colder for it