the hopeless romantic

loyal I was

like a soldier
but there was no equity in your love

and no impunity in mine

your heart was an oubliette

I could not reach

so I fell before your bars

staring up into the darkness

with a thin dead smile upon my lips

dear god

I have been meaning to write
for a while now
but you probably knew that
but I just couldn't find the words
to express how I was feeling inside
but I suppose you knew that too
thanks for my life
I am grateful for the spark
thanks for the beauty that I occasionally see
and the freedom to dream
thanks for the lessons I have learnt
and I am sorry about the ones I ignored
I am as you know not perfect
but God I wanted to ask you a favour
if you think I've been good
addressed my sins
if I have lived with an honest heart
and tried to be a good father
then please when my life is over
when my body separates from my soul
I am asking
I am begging you
just let me go



(This was beginning. Religion slipped away from me. Truth, fact and science filled the void.)