the wave

a wave was just about
to crash upon the rocks
when suddenly it changed its mind
"sod this." it thought
but before it could change direction
something pushed it from behind

the last season

a part of me was

extinguished in that dawn

I looked at you

knowing that I loved you

knowing that I had to let go

you were awake

yet your eyes were closed

leaving the warmth of your body
I looked across a wasteland

broken by a single tree

bare of colour

skeletal and fragile

and how alike I thought

are the seasons of love

to the seasons of the four

the woman

she is a woman

I have known women

she looks at me

weighing the potential

I look

you turn away

I turn

you look at me

we both know these rules

you come close

very close

you bump into me

and say sorry

I speak

you listen

you take the voice

and you imagine tomorrow

but you can't know me

or my journey

nobody can

for there are elements in me

that will make nothing

in your science

where you see light

I feel only the dark

we all look

we all speak without words

we are all predictable

I will smile at you

and I will play by these rules

but you will never know my heart

the pool

I am standing

where a memory lives

I am holding onto a past

nobody but you and I can hold

but you have not been here

for so long

I can feel this

for a memory like ours

needs two to make it live

and very slowly

I know it slips from here

a father's advice

don't read the books
I read
and don't carry my values
as a blueprint for your own
times change
and maybe I wasn't right

don't wait for a god
to speak through you
you have a voice of your own

love is a word with
a hundred meanings
learn them all

as for money and wealth
always remember that
I loved buying for others
more than I did myself

death is inevitable
but know that I will go before you
and that if it is possible
I will wait for you

and finally always remember this
a simple truth that took me years to understand
we are worthless
if we are of no value to others



(As a parent I spend a great deal of time musing over my children's futures. But there comes a point when your advice just becomes your own template. They have to see their future through their own eyes or what is the point of being alive?)

broken

conversation surrounds me
like a moat
isolating me further
from the living world
but their words
are incomplete threads
jumbled and meaningless
when set against my thoughts

the heaviness in my heart
empties my eyes into space
I have been here before
I vowed never to return
but here I am again
alone
cold
lost
and broken

the loneliness of a heart

strong coffee poured
over sharp words
still find their mark
and the sadness pools
in forgotten smiles

the light that shone
on dreams of days
yet to be
goes out
denying tears
denying love
accepting what was always
meant to be

and within the loneliness of a heart
a man breaks beneath
the weight of a fate
and the gravity of a crime
that was always his

the empty glass

the wine glass

spills

fills
and empties

our music
our memories and plans

pulls me inwards

I know you are gone
I know death is final

but my love
in this dark night
with my eyes closed

and a heart filled with hope

I still feel the need to reach out
for your hand

and our unfinished love

(I fell in love with a woman who fought and lost a fight. It was a lifetime ago.)

unhappily single

here I stand
between the memory of your vow
and the taste of your lips
here I sit
watching my shadow fade
and the dark days fall
here I kneel
in torn letters
polarising your past with my present
and here I crawl
broken boned
within the burden of blackened love

why we walk away

she was beautiful
smart
young
she made you smile
and you had forgotten how

she filled the cracks in your life
with laughter
and music
and you could have loved her

but your bruised heart
could not hold on
could not grip
the weight within her love