I am happily lost here. Unknown and unfettered by all that weighs me down. Here within the Autumn evening I am leaf upon the Liffey, swirling within the laughter and smiles. She greets me with hugs that erase the tiredness of my day and imbued by confidence I kiss her cheek.
"That was brave."
"We're a brave race." I reply.
She looks at me and shakes her head.
Then she wraps my name within a wink and takes my hand. Willingly I am dragged into her world of singing and a thousand bottled spirits; perched upon shelves that only an angel could reach. After a meal and idle conversation she suggests that we leave the noise for the dying light and the gentle rain. Seventeen steps down the street she stops me. She looks at me but says nothing. Then she tilts her head and smiles, as if a question is finally answered.
"You're broken."
"I don't know how to answer that." I reply.
"Can anyone?"
She smiles and shrugs but gives no explanation. Then with a shake of her head and a laugh she starts to walk again. We talk about Ireland and England. We compare notes and wince over historic facts. Then she starts to talk to me in her native tongue. There is truth in these words even though I do not understand their meaning.
"I'm in love with a language that I will never understand." I tell her.
"And unluckily for you, broken Irish will always be smarter than clever English."
We start to walk again and knowing that I am lost in the maze of her words, I simply yield and let her stories and conversation wash over me. As we arrive at my hotel I anticipate stealing a kiss as we say goodnight. The rain has eased and the traffic seems to be emptying and surrendering to the night.
"I'll get you a taxi."
"Why?" she asks.
I look at her puzzled. Thinking that we're about to start another adventure. I instantly fear for my liver and wonder where I will find the energy.
"You're a little slow for an Englishman aren't you?
"I don't..." She cuts my words short with a loaded smile and another wink.
"The left side of the bed is always mine." she adds as she starts to walk into my hotel.
That night, for what had felt like an eternity, I fell asleep to the sound of a woman breathing on my left. I dreamed peacefully and untroubled; like I did when I was a boy. In the morning as we share buttered toast and tea I tell her that I feel fixed.
"You're lucky I knew what to do." she tells me.
I nod in agreement as my voice is now superfluous..... to even my existence.
