Thursday, 14 July 2016

waxy thoughts

five red candles
dimly lit the paper
as I wrote to you
my tears
their waxy rivulets
melted together
the dying thoughts
as we slowly burnt down
to our beginnings
eventually
finally
both went out
only to be read
by the darkness
that swallowed them





(started on the 4th June 1993 - when I used to write by candlelight)

ask them to leave

loneliness and sadness
have to be called out
and cursed
not diluted
or ignored
not mistaken for something else
or imagined away
as you cannot ask them to leave
unless you know their names

another's warmth

when I close my eyes
when a face becomes
just flesh
that is when
I replace the silence
with your voice
nakedness is my need
but your voice
is my lover
this human hunger
that leads me to these arms
never fills me
and never touches
what I once found in you
only in the mornings
in the uncomfortable silence
of a cold dying heart
do I face my self-loathing
for betraying your love
and as I close these doors
I realise that leaving you
will be all I will ever know



Friday, 1 July 2016

the time traveller

he wanders back
to the moment he fell
and observes the man he knew
his mind recalls the act
but his eyes see the crime
fresh and undisturbed by time

he unwinds the hours back further
and steps in to confront himself
but he does not know this man
and this man will not listen

as he walks away from himself
he suddenly recalls the stranger he once met
the one with his father's face
and with the eyes hollowed out by pain



Tuesday, 15 March 2016

for my grandfather

may we both
stand together
silent on memory's shore
admiring the images
and precious things
that will not die
nor fade away




(For my grandfather - Albert Wileman)

Monday, 14 March 2016

a poem in progress

erase that
write it neatly
less hurried
that doesn't work
more emphasis on
no less
I need a ending
not that
too bleak
way too bleak
oh I like that
read it again
just to be sure
ok
are you ready?
you sure?
ok
now let it go

Tuesday, 8 March 2016

the rose eater

she prefers the reds
they are sweeter than the whites
and silkier than the yellow
sometimes you can see the pulp
washing around her mouth
a whirlpool of crimson
thorns stabbing upwards like shark fins
circling within her thin lips
waiting for the petals
to be shovelled to their deaths

the pianist

beneath Napoleon's hat
the sober pianist
slaughters our requests
Gershwin dies again and again
as his fingers stab the ivories to death
but it is "Summertime"
that finally steers even the barmen to drink

a swaying figure at the bar
lists gently as the boat drunkenly rolls
his foot taps between the missed beats
whilst his hands cling desperately to
his wrecked sobriety
he looks at the ice in his glass
as if it was a Gypsy's crystal ball
searching for the title to the tune
that eludes him
a tune he wants to request
a tune that will die without mercy

as for me
I sit quietly in the corner
praying for icebergs





(On a ferry to France watching a pianist, who was wearing Napoleon's hat, entertain a drunk)

Friday, 4 March 2016

I would fall

I would fall for a whisper
lightly dusted with hope

I would fall for a smile
that I knew was mine

I would fall for a sinner
wrapped within a promise

I would fall for a lie
held within a gentle heart

but I would fall for you
with just a single word
and I would change my course
towards oblivion

I would yield and kneel before you
like the pious and the faithless blind
for you are both the music
and the dance




Wednesday, 12 August 2015

beer vs mayo


I walked out of the rain
and into the Queen's Arms
I bet I can drink two pints of Guinness
before that woman finishes
her fat french stick
I watch her mayonnaise tears hit the table
as the musics whines
or is it the conversation?
twisted and bleary
pooling on beer soaked tongues
it bangs between the pin ball flippers
and the fruitless fruit machine which chirps
for my attention in the corner of the bar
a colourless man stares at his pint
as if it holds an answer
but what is the question?
does it lie in the optimist's half full
or the pessimists's half empty?
maybe it hides in the froth of the last dregs
like a silent mouthed answer which is lost in a belch
and the dull thud as glass meets bar top
the barman young and also empty
polishes a glass and holds it high
quickly he puts it back
realising that it is the light that is dirty
the barmaid a refugee from her own existence
spills conversation over anything with a pulse
but most are dead here
and even the living are terminal
or tired echoes of better days
I look up from my second empty glass
and see a discarded French stick
with its innards punched out across the table



(Just a quiet observation in a pub on a rainy day...)