keeping it jewish

My son has a little problem. So I took him to the Doctor who explained about the unwanted skin on his "willy" and how a simple operation would make it all better. He seemed a little upset so I explained that it was an operation that I had had when I was a little boy. The following day he came rushing up to me in the school playground and in front of several (female) parents said, "I've told my teacher that I'm going to have an operation and that my willy is going to be like yours." Humiliation aside... it was one of those wonderful moments you have as a parent when a child's naivety cuts straight through the unwanted skin that covers our own inhibitions...

my dad

when I am scared at night

my dad is there

when I am in trouble

my dad is there

when I am upset

my dad is there

my dad is always there

(Written for me by my daughter, Madison on the 30th December 2010)

who will sing to me?

who will sing me to sleep

when sleep will not come easy

who will soothe the aches

when the pain will not leave me

who will talk to me in the dark

when the shadows hunt me

and who will capture my eyes in theirs

and tell me that they love me

this is what I do

1.42am

"I can't sleep."

weary bones grind and move

next to you I lay

until sleep takes you home

2.34am

"I'm thirsty."

in darkness I fetch a glass of water

in a coma I return to serve

"thanks dad."

a kiss goodnight

I stroke your hair

you are gone

4.48am

"I'm cold."

I pull the duvet across your shoulders

and watch you snuggle down

I am cold too

tired

but always content

I hear your whisper

"I love you dad."

and smile

I know this my son

no payment needed

as no debt is incurred

for this is what I do

sometimes

sometimes when

I look at people

I can hear them within

it is like hearing

an argument through a wall

muffled

tight

dull

occasionally a word

will escape

to be captured

heard and held

I know you now

I understand your pain

strange though

to listen

to voices

in people that

do not talk

24th September 2010

ego meets meat

the sweating ego
tested and tested
in mirrors that would flatter pencils
reveals the character
of these impressionless minds
that grapple with iron
to assume the shape
of magazine hunks
who have ladies pawing
at their well shaped heels
and the roar of adoring
fans in their muscled ears

just hiding in a heart

I forget
I remember
the one I buried
the one I do not mourn
the one who nearly buried me
the one who lived behind these eyes
the one who used these hands
the one who crushed her love within my heart
he waits for her still
to return

then he forgets
then he remembers

even ghosts have shadows

when you loosen the only words
that mattered to your heart
you evolve into loneliness
the heart fails
the flesh falls away
and the bones become dust
until you become a ghost
a ghost with a shadow

the trajectory of a kiss

I tricked a girl with a kiss

a silly childish kiss

launched like a rocket

it flew
within a dying arc

until it hit

her surprised red lips

the ex-wife

he wants me back
he's angry that I left him

he left me actually

he lies

he hurt me

he hurt the children

he was cruel to me

he was cruel to the children

he threatened to kill me

he held a knife to my throat

I sigh

I shrug

every excuse but the truth

but I know who I was then

as I know who I am now

just a faithful husband

and a loyal man